I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
