okay pat passed out under dana's car
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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