I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
