i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
