we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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