Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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