If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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