So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
