What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
