Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
