He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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