Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
