You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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