My friends, they love my intelligence
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
is wine microwaveable?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize