His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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