i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
