All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
