so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
