I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
