five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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