If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
