i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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