Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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