I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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