I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
