he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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