If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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