But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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