i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
did i just pee glitter
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