Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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