I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Randomize
