we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
