I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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