dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
