Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
