so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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