just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
