Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
