How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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