I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
