well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
