Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
