i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
