North Korea, Best Korea!
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I just gift wrapped bread.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
