come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
