therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
