If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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