I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
