I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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