I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Randomize
