May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
