Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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