I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I am naked and annoyed.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
