never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize