Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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