hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
