Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
